Human Love Boldly on Display Testifies to God’s Love for Us
“There should be no such thing as secret love,” I told my fiancé one evening as we talked on the phone. It is possible to have secret attraction, a secret crush, or secret admiration. But love is different, I reasoned. Love, if it is real, should be impossible to hide.
No, I’m not talking about the infamous PDA (Public Display of Affection). I’m talking about the nature of love itself. Contrary to popular belief, love is not just a feeling although it always will (and always should) carry deep emotions with it. But love is more than hormones, more than a song on the radio, more than a hot date on the latest Bachelor episode.
So when you say, “I love you,” what are you really saying?
Time for a quick grammar lesson. Sentences are made up of three parts: subject, predicate, and object. The subject is the element that the rest of the sentence is about. The predicate describes the action taken by the subject, and the object is the element being acted upon by the subject. So in the sentence, “I love you,” the subject is “I,” the action is “love,” and the object is “you.” So when you say, “I love you,” you are in essence saying, “I am acting on you with love.”
That may sound awkward, but Scripture seems to agree with this view of love. When the Bible mentions love, it often ties an action rather than an emotion to it. Colossians 3:16 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” In other words, if husbands truly love their wives, they will treat them gently.
Take Ephesians 5:25 as another example. When Paul compares the relationship between a husband and wife to Christ and the church, he writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…” There’s another action. Love calls the lover to sacrifice himself for the beloved.
Again, in John 14:15, Christ tells His disciples, “If you love me, you will obey what I command.” We love Christ by obeying Him.
The Bible doesn’t say, “Husbands love your wives, and feel warm and fuzzy about them.” It says, “Show them tenderness and give yourselves up for them.” Christ didn’t say, “Love Me, and get goose bumps at the next worship service.” He instead said, “Obey me.” Biblical love requires action.
Jesus is the ultimate example of love in action. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). God loved us enough to do something about it. Love prompts action. This is why true love cannot be hidden. If love is action, it will be visible.
I gained a better understanding of the potent visibility of love the other day when Warner took me to breakfast at a small restaurant in our hometown. As we walked in holding hands, I noticed an old man sitting alone at a table against the wall watching us. But I thought nothing of it as we crossed the wood floor and slid side by side into a booth. We ordered breakfast and talked quietly between ourselves. Once or twice I saw the old man turn his head to look at us, but I was too preoccupied to wonder.
I was half finished with my pancake when the old man rose. His hair was white, his shoulders stooped, and he wore a hearing aid. But with a deliberate step, he walked over to our table.
“Excuse me,” he said as we smiled up at him. “You don’t know me from Adam, but I was watching as you came in, and you were holding hands.” He went on to describe how he noticed Warner’s gentleness toward me. Then he placed a withered hand over his heart as if to cover a wound. “Last year I lost my wife after sixty-five wonderful years of marriage, and I miss her desperately. But it inspires me to see young couples like you. Are you married?” When we told him that we were engaged, he said, “Well, Godspeed to you. May you have a blessed marriage and a productive marriage. And may it reveal God’s plan for both your lives as you follow His will and design for marriage.”
We listened in astonishment. Before we could say anything, he shook Warner’s hand and said, “God bless you both.” With that, he turned and limped away. Later the waitress told us that he had paid for our breakfast.
We finished eating quietly. His words played over and over again in my head. Here was a man who had spent most of his life acting out his great love for his wife. Even though she was now gone, he still showed his love for her by encouraging young people like us who were just starting out on the journey of real, visible love.
Christians tend to be bashful about love. After all, the world would be a much more awkward place if we were too blatant in our affection. But could this attitude come from a weak view of love?
Christ certainly didn’t have a weak view of love. “Greater love hath no man than this,” He told His disciples, “that he lay down his life for his friends” (see John 14:13). The Lord wasn’t shy about displaying His love. He came to earth to act out a high-profile love affair with mankind. He ultimately gave up His life to show us His love, and He tells us to do the same for one another.
He does not intend our love to be whispered about and uncovered only in private. He intends our love to be deliberate and obvious. “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34&35).
Our deep, sincere love on display is a testimony to God’s deeper love for us. So if you truly love someone, whether a spouse, fiancé, friend, or family member, do something about it. We’ve made too little of love for too long. Let us love for the world to see.
- Grace D. Williamson