Learning to Rest in God’s Security
Lately I’ve been wrestling with change.
The truth is, I HATE change. I much prefer to stay where I’m comfortable – spiritually, emotionally, physically. I like having a plan and sticking to it. I like being in control.
Re-read that last paragraph. I just did. I’m pretty ashamed that I honestly feel that way sometimes. It really shows the condition of my heart. I’m selfish and want to be like God (here we go again…). However, I can also honestly say that is NOT where I want to stay. There is a change I do want. I want my heart to change more into Jesus’ image.
The root issue in my dislike of change is lack of security. Change makes me feel insecure. It makes me worry.
Ever since I was little, my life has had some major changes. My parents’ divorce; my mom’s death when I was six; my dad’s death when I was eight; being adopted when I was nine; moving to a different city; people coming in and out of my life; moving again; transitioning into adulthood; moving another time; death of close friends and my grammie; my family growing and changing; and growing personally. Some of these changes are normal issues that everyone goes through. Other issues are specific to my life. Not all of them are bad. Yet all of them are different, and all of them make me feel unstable.
It also makes me question whether or not God is unchanging like He says He is.
The reality is that if there is one place I should feel secure, it’s in God and who He is. However, I tend to compare God to people. That means when I was deserted by my father, my mom’s boyfriend, and my uncle, all of whom tried to take on the role of fatherhood for a short time, it made me think, “I bet God’s like that too. He’ll stay around for a little while and then He’ll leave.” For that reason (and because of the fact that I’m a sinner), I’ve always been fearful of fully trusting God and fully resting in Him.
So, when change comes I feel all alone and I don’t know where to go.
Can you relate?
Sometimes I wonder how many other people feel a lack of security in the Lord because they’ve let situations dictate their feelings. Sometimes I wonder what situation will cause that lack of security to poke up its head. Like I said, my insecurity comes out when change happens. I’ve seen people who get insecure when they aren’t the best at something like sports, academics, or music; when they aren’t in complete control; or when they are put out of their comfort zone. Bottom line, we all have insecurities, and they all cause us to doubt God in some way.
The conclusion I have come to is that we feel insecure in God because we have a wrong view of Him. If we really knew who He was, then we would rest in Him.
I’ve been reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan (good book, by the way- I’d highly recommend it). Here’s what Chan says about difficulty and uncertainty:
“Jesus said, ‘In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!’ (John 16:33). Life isn’t perfect when you follow Christ wholeheartedly; you will have trouble, Jesus says – it is pretty much guaranteed. But He has overcome the world. So take heart, keep on, fight the good fight, pray continuously, and do not grow weary. There is nothing better than giving up everything and stepping into a passionate love relationship with God, the God of the universe who made galaxies, leaves, laughter, and me and you.”
Trouble and change have come in my life. I’ve been insecure. The reality is that life has been hard. But as Chan says, Jesus warned us it would be difficult. I could easily get stuck here. I could think, “If life is going to be hard, then forget about it!” However, then I look at the promise that Jesus has overcome the world. That fact coupled with James 1:17, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows,” causes me to think deeply about the character of God.
If He is capable of overcoming the world, of giving us every good gift, and if His Word says that He “does not change like shifting shadows,” and I say that I BELIEVE the Word of God, where is there room for doubt? Isn’t it a natural conclusion that I can completely trust in Him? Why do I feel insecure when God can accomplish all of this effortlessly?
When I have this correct view of God that recognizes His power, His love, and His complete control, it’s not that hard to feel secure in who He is. Changes can still be a struggle at times, but it’s not nearly so difficult when I have a Rock that is unchanging. Actually, change becomes kind of exciting, because I know that no matter what happens, my relationship with God will be stable and I will grow. In the midst of the change going on around me, God will be changing my heart into Jesus’ image. Not only is that the most important thing, it’s an amazing gift of grace!
So, some final thoughts:
1. What makes you feel insecure?
2. What incorrect view of God do you have that causes that insecurity?
3. Strive to see that despite your feelings, God is totally trustworthy.
- Cheryl Kaye