The Botkin sisters’ new book sheds Biblical light on the intricacies of guy/girl relationships.
My friend sat down across the table from me at a local restaurant. We exchanged a few pleasantries before I broached the subject that had prompted the day’s lunch meeting. “How is the situation with your guy friend going?” She looked at me, raised her eyebrows and began, “Well…it’s complicated.” My mind immediately drifted to the ingeniously titled new book by sisters Anna Sofia and Elizabeth Botkin: It’s (Not That) Complicated.
I hadn’t read the book yet, but by the end of our lengthy conversation – one of many I have had this year with various friends going through relationship challenges – I couldn’t help but wonder, “What world are they living in?!” My own previously-held view of uncomplicated relationships took quite a beating this year, so I was eager to get my hands on a copy of this new book and find out what the authors had to say.
Anna Sofia and Elizabeth are just 25 and 23 years old, but they discuss the inherent difficulties of boy-girl friendships with the wisdom and maturity that can only be gleaned from hours of studying Scripture and its application to life. They have an acute sense of cultural influences and address those influences in a down-to-earth, biblical way. It’s (Not That) Complicated is a refreshing look at the question of what it really means to love the guys around us as brothers in Christ while trusting that God will sovereignly orchestrate marriages for us and them according to His design. The Botkin sisters tackle tough relationship questions with humor and lots of heartfelt, practical suggestions.
Written from their own perspective as unmarried young ladies, Anna Sofia and Elizabeth
take readers back to the beginning and discuss God’s original design for the creation of woman. As Eve was taken from the side of Adam and given the unique role of being his helpmeet, we – her daughters – are born with a desire to serve, or complete, a man. However, there are right and wrong ways of using this inclination in relationships, both with our real brothers and our brothers in Christ. They also remind us of the true nature of our own hearts, which the Bible describes as deceitful and wicked with no hope of righteousness apart from Jesus Christ. It is only through Him that we have the power to cultivate right attitudes and desires within that will overflow in appropriate and virtuous behavior toward the guys in our lives.
Even though the authors’ perspectives will resonate most with those who come from stable Christian families, any young woman will be encouraged and inspired toward godly relationships if she reads this book with an open mind and a teachable heart. They also make an excellent point that is especially insightful for those who come from rough past relationships:
“Some girls fear that they will have permanent scars from mistakes they have made. They fear that part of them is gone and they can never be made whole again. But the concept of inner purity deals more with the present state of the heart, the mind, and the affections than it does with the past. What we need to be doing is developing a state of heart and mind that is self-controlled and faithful to one man. It’s never too late to repent and do what’s right.”
Another helpful feature is the candid commentary offered by various guys throughout the book. It’s encouraging to know that there are young men passionately serving the Lord and committed to pursuing young women who are doing likewise. We hope and pray that the book will serve as another excellent tool to inspire young people everywhere to keep their eyes on Jesus Christ, build strong friendships, and be “always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58). The result of Anna Sofia and Elizabeth’s own struggles and hard work is a book we would recommend to every young lady as a biblically solid approach to understanding how their own relationships can be “Not That Complicated.”
- Noelle & Natalie Wickham