Cover Story

Growing up as the eldest of ten children, second generation homeschooler Bessie Knoester was well-prepared for her dream job: being a wife and a mother. Mothers who train their children to walk in God’s ways are some of the greatest culture changers. While raising four young children in a military home may have its challenges, Bessie understands the opportunity she has to impact the next generation.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I always wanted to be a wife and mother (just like my mom) – so I have my dream job! I also wanted to marry someone involved in some type of full-time ministry, like my dad. (However, the military was not “on my radar” at that time.)

How did you meet your husband, Patrick?

I met Patrick at seminary. He was a student at “The Master’s Seminary,” and I was a secretary for one of the professors there. Patrick also worked on the seminary/church campus, and since I lived right next-door and walked back and forth to work, we would run into each other at times. One day he finally asked to “escort” me home, and we started to get to know each other better. That was 12 years ago, and the rest is history…

Being married to an Air Force Chaplain, have you discovered extra parenting challenges in a military home? If so, what are they, and how would you encourage other Mothers facing similar challenges?

There are certainly unique challenges involving parenting in a military home – but there are also unique challenges in other parenting situations as well, and I don’t believe that a military home is necessarily a harder place to raise children than any other home – we each have our own challenges and joys in the situations God puts us in. One of the things I appreciate about raising children in the military is the overall understanding of discipline and respect that is taught and demanded. Personal discipline and respect of authority, other persons and of our country are things I want to teach my children, and in the military they get to see examples of these things constantly.

The primary challenges for me are the times when I have to be the “single” parent when my husband is deployed or at some training far away. It is draining to do all the parenting and teaching yourself. But I always have the support and encouragement from my husband, even when he is far away, so I am still not totally on my own. At these times my trust in the Lord and good support from family and friends is invaluable. I certainly would encourage other military mothers to take advantage of the resources they have in the Lord, in family, and in the military “family.”

What led you and Patrick to homeschool your children?

Since I was homeschooled myself and had a positive experience, I was very open to the idea from the beginning. Patrick was also in favor of having more opportunity to influence and pour into our children’s lives. After actually having our own children, we became more convinced that we wanted to be the primary ones shaping and guiding their hearts and minds. It was a pretty easy decision for us at that point. I admit that even though I had been homeschooled myself, and I was convinced I wanted/needed to do it, that didn’t mean I wasn’t scared by the whole responsibility of it. It does seem, though, that each year I am less scared and more excited by what both my children and I are learning through this experience.

Bessie's Family

How did growing up as the oldest of ten children prepare you for motherhood?

Wow! How couldn’t it? I was the “second mommy.” I had lots of practical experience in the jobs and the joys of motherhood. I felt pretty prepared coming into this “job” – except I had to learn how to downsize my cooking when I got married since I was used to cooking for so many. The main thing that has been different in mothering my own children has been the deep love that only a mother can have for her children – I don’t think you can truly know or understand that until you have your own children! I know since becoming a parent, I have a deeper understanding and appreciation of what our Heavenly Father went through when sacrificing His own Son.

What role do you think motherhood plays in impacting our culture?

I believe it has a huge role – either for the good, or for the bad. I see a direct correlation between our culture and the way we are raised. Therefore, I believe the single most important job for a mother is raising her children to know and love the Lord, following His ways first and being respectable, honorable citizens secondly.

Why do you think we take motherhood for granted in our culture?

Because we (as a culture) do not value mothers the way that God values them. God created and intended motherhood to be a place of high honor and importance. It is a calling, a life-long, 24/7 commitment. We devalue this important job at times even allowing “others” to be a substitute for a mother’s role – policies, programs, TV, teachers, babysitters, etc. We do not see a mother’s primary job, and highest calling, as raising her children – pouring herself and God’s Word into them constantly.

Your own Mother was not only your Mom but also your teacher. How would you describe the impact she had on your life? What kind of impact do you strive to have on your children?

My mother had, and continues to have, a significantly positive impact on my life. I realize and am thankful for it more and more as the years go by. She has been the example of a godly woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend & teacher for me. She is a hard worker and her patience, especially as a teacher, amazes me. All of these examples have been invaluable for me, and I continue to learn from her. She is the first person I seek for advice, next to my husband.

I would love for my children to know my love for the Lord, and for their father, and for them. I would pray that I could also be a godly example for them in all the ways my mother has been for me. I pray that I would help my girls learn and be prepared to be godly wives and mothers and for my son to be a godly husband ready to lead his own family.

Having experienced both the child/student and the parent/teacher sides of homeschooling, what do you think parents who choose not to homeschool miss out on?

So many things… 1) Knowing their children on a deeper level and having a deeper relationship simply because of the amount of time spent with them. 2) The opportunity to shape their hearts by bringing God’s word practically into every part of their day – true discipleship. 3) The joys of watching them grasp new concepts and learn valuable lessons and be excited about the world around them. 4) The opportunity to be humbled and molded before the Lord yourself as you recognize your own inadequacies. 5) The opportunity to better shelter, protect, and guard their hearts and minds. 6) The opportunity to give your kids security – meaning they are not forced into situations they are not ready for yet – so they are able to gain confidence and be totally comfortable in their own skin and in the long run excel because of this.

What do you think their children miss out on?

1) A deeper relationship with their parents & siblings. 2) Better protection from the distractions and temptations this world holds. 3) More opportunities to learn personal discipline and responsibilities within a family structure. 4) Freedom to learn at a pace that is good for them, more thoroughly, more developed – not having to be rushed through things. 5) More opportunity for practical life lessons – in a family (real life) setting – working together as a family – doing projects, helping others, etc.

What aspects of your own homeschool experience do you hope to duplicate as you train your children at home?

Strong academics, but overall a love of learning. A good relationship as a family – parents with children, siblings with each other, etc. and a good work ethic. Most importantly, a love for the Lord and a good understanding of the Bible.

Do you find that your experience as a homeschool graduate helps you in homeschooling your children?

Yes. I have a working knowledge of how it can work, and that it does work! This doesn’t mean that I am using all the same curriculum or doing things exactly like my parents did (although some of it I am) – it does mean that I don’t have some of the same fears and unknowns that a lot of new homeschoolers have. I still have to work through my own inadequacies and pray for wisdom daily as I strive to patiently teach my children. One of the best things about being a second-generation homeschooler is that when I need homeschool advice the first person I call is Mom!

The Knoester Family

Being a second-generation homeschooler, what do you believe is the “homeschool legacy”?

My husband and I want to hand down to our children the same legacy that was given to me by my parents. That is to take complete responsibility for all areas of our children’s training – heart, soul, and mind. It is instilling a knowledge of and love for the Lord and His word, nurturing strong family bonds, and teaching strong academics with a Biblical worldview.

The Knoester family is currently stationed at Robins Air Force Base in Georgia. If you would like to contact Bessie directly, her email address is bessieknoester@hotmail.com.